Hey, fellow chronic pain friends! Today let’s talk about seven things I’ve cut out to manage my chronic pain. These are things I’ve learned over the years from having chronic pain. They are personal to me and my experiences, but I hope they can help you too.
If you have any things you’ve cut out to improve your chronic pain, I’d love to read about them in the comments!
Now let’s get into it!
Disclaimer: The information on this blog is based on personal experiences and should not be considered medical advice. The information on this blog is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Please ask your doctor if you have any questions.
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One: Refusing to Ask for Help
Gone are the days when I had to be the most independent person in the world and prove to the world and myself that I can do it and I don’t need help. Um…who even am I? Everyone in life needs at least a little help at some point in time. That’s okay.
Honestly, I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like I always need to prove myself to myself and to others, or that I need to say, “I can do this and I don’t need help.”
It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to do it all on my own. We were not created to do things on our own. As much as I do enjoy some alone time, I was not created for a life of me, me, me. Or to have to always prove that I’m something that I’m not.
It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to not be able to do something, especially if I physically or mentally can’t actually do it. Not being able to – or wanting to – do something doesn’t mean that you’re weak and useless and incapable. Not being able to do something or needing to ask for help doesn’t say anything about you. I hate to break it to you, but asking for help will not cause the world to scream at you, “Oh my gosh you suck! How could you even consider asking for help?!”
I no longer tell myself that. Do you know what? You can ask for help. I ask for help when I can’t or don’t feel like lifting things today. It’s okay if I can’t do it. I’m not being rude by asking someone else to help me with it. I am not being a burden to someone by asking either. I can ask for help because I don’t want to make the pain worse. If someone cannot help me, it’s okay, I will figure out a way to do it or postpone it for later when someone can help.
So refusing to ask for help is not something I’m doing anymore. I’m not going to let my stubbornness get in the way or make my chronic pain worse.
Two: Expect Perfection/Completion
This one is probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever expected of myself. Perfection. Perfection in everyday tasks and completion by the end of the day for everything I started that day. Excuse me, what? Yeah I know, that’s absurd.
We only have so many hours in a day, and our bodies do not behave equally throughout all of them. During some hours you have increased or decreased pain, sometimes you’ll experience fatigue or hunger, sometimes motivation, some hours you’ll be tired while others you’re ready to embrace the day. Even for someone without chronic pain, each hour of the day is not equal.
Every task or project does not need to be perfect or complete by the end of the day. It’s OK if it takes you three weeks to do something that took somebody else two days to finish.
Now I ask myself to improve by 1% percent every day. In case that isn’t blatantly obvious, that’s a really low bar for me to hit.
The 1% could literally be showering when I haven’t the last two days because I wasn’t feeling it. Some days 1% may be tackling half the dishes in the sink, while other days it might be cleaning the entire kitchen. It might be finishing a project or continuing one I’ve been working on for the last three months. Some sewing days I do nothing more than iron my project pieces and pin things into place. That’s it, and I call it a day. Did I make huge steps toward completing the project? No. But did I take a step forward? Yes. That’s all that’s needed.
Let go of perfection. Let go of the idea that things have to be completed for it to be a job well done. I no longer expect perfection from myself. I ask for an improvement of 1%.
Three: Pressure Myself into Making Days Completely Full or Busy
I know that the world seems to move at a certain pace and maybe you don’t operate at the same speed. That’s okay. Don’t pressure yourself into keeping up with the world. Don’t pressure yourself into performing or functioning at a pace you’re uncomfortable with.
Since moving to another country I’ve learned not to pressure myself into keeping up with the rest of the world. I don’t need to completely book my day. I fill my day with what I want to do and what I know I’m capable of. To speak to the previous section, I’m now comfortable if a task is only half finished.
Take life at your own pace.
Four: Tell Myself Not to Dream Big
When you first find out you have a chronic pain condition it is so easy to fall into a pit of depression and beat yourself down because you think you won’t get to do the things you love anymore. It’s easy to follow the negative thoughts and tell ourselves not to dream big because of the pain.
Don’t do that. Dream the big dreams! Don’t shut anything down with what-ifs. Chronic pain conditions are real, but just because you have one doesn’t mean you can’t do big things. The dreams keep us going.
Telling myself not to dream big is one of the things I’ve cut out to manage my chronic pain. Call me stubborn, but I’ll keep dreaming and fighting for each one of them.
Five: Let My Pain Dictate My Joy
Another thing I no longer do, I don’t let my chronic pain dictate my joy. When I get up in the morning I choose to have a good day, regardless of how I feel physically. Instead of letting how I feel determine the day I’ll have, or letting what I can accomplish for the day determine whether I’ll feel good about myself, I change my perspective and decide that these things won’t define my day.
Simply choosing to have a good day is the first start. I recommend you become your biggest cheerleader, which will help you when the day gets tough and encourage you to keep going. Find things to place your hope in and look for joy in the little things.
One of the things I do for my pain, to set the day up for success and try to get ahead of the pain, is I choose my wardrobe carefully. Especially if I know I’m going to be on my feet all day. I put my best foot forward by paying attention to what I put on my feet.
If you’re looking for some chronic pain friendly socks, I highly recommend the Therapeutic socks and the Compression socks from the brand Feetures. These are my go-to socks that are the comfiest brand I’ve ever owned. I’ve struggled for years to find a sock that would be comfortable on my feet that are constantly in pain. I was never happy with the options available to me until my sister recommended I check out this brand.
Switching to this brand of socks helps me to start my day off on the right foot. Literally. While it doesn’t take away my chronic pain, it certainly helps me to manage it. Letting my pain dictate my day is one of the things I’ve cut out to manage my chronic pain. I now take active steps to advocate for my health every day, from my physical to my mental health.
Six: Compare Yesterday to Today
This one is huge. When I was younger I used to constantly compare how I could do something yesterday to what I could do today. It would frustrate me when I would wake up the day after an amazing and grand event that I had so much fun at, only to find I couldn’t function the next day.
It’s so easy to complain about not being able to do what I could do yesterday. It feels debilitating. I often felt defeated.
Now I remind myself that yesterday was a different day, and today is not yesterday. Even people without chronic pain conditions get tired after a long day of events and activities. Why do I think I should be any different?
Don’t compare yesterday to today. I will give my best today, even when my best is different from yesterday’s best, and I choose to be okay with that. I will not let my worry about how I may function tomorrow rob me of my joy today.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34 NIV
Seven: Compare Myself/My Energy to Everyone Else’s Energy/Capabilities
Finally, the last one on our list of things I’ve cut out to manage my chronic pain, I let go of comparison.
Sometimes you wake up a little angry because you can’t understand why others can do things you cannot do. Or at least, that’s how we perceive it. But the thing is, we don’t really know what others are capable of. So to compare myself to someone else without knowing any of their story or what’s going on in their life is completely ridiculous.
For the record, others don’t know what you’re capable of either. You can do so many things that they would only dream possible and vice versa. You can bear so many things that they could never imagine going through, and they can bear things you couldn’t even fathom.
Comparison is a stupid game that only hurts you.
What did you think of my list of seven things I’ve cut out to manage my chronic pain? Would you add anything to the list? Let me know in the comments! I’d love to keep the conversation going.
Also, if you’re looking for more chronic pain posts, check these out:
- How To Be Your Own Health Advocate: Part 1
- How To Look For Joy In Hobbies Despite Chronic Pain
- A Day In The Life In Perú, Chronic Pain Edition
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